Well not really. Its not like I’m on a time limit or anything, but so little time works with so much to say. Hehe. I have alot to say today and Im guessing about halfway through this post I will have derailed the original idea for this post and be rambling about something off the wall and forget why I originally wanted to post today. So, in preparation of that, I will outline a few points Id like to make today.
1. White Water- will explain further below
2. Clothes shopping-also below
3. Reality Tv.
4. Craftiness
Yea. Ok that works. I know I had more ideas then that, but somehow I lost them. So, White Water is a huge water park. Typically with half nakkie people running around or um swimming in this case. LOTS of people.. LOTS of Skinny minis. My beautiful Tinkerbell daughter just turned 6 and besides a kitten her wish was to go to White Water with mom and dad. Seeing as how I’m mom.. I well you get the picture. I went. I pulled on my sis’s bathing suit, I do not own one of my own, and packed the child, cooler, sunblock, and hubby (not necessarily in that order) into vehicle and took off. On a Sunday.. Meaning Weekend.. Meaning more people.. >< We got there and its packed.. People everywhere.. Skin everywhere and Skinnies everywhere. Now, I do NOT have anything against skinnies.. They are more likely to laugh at fatties HOWEVER I do NOT judge them. Its society, they cannot help it, just like I cannot help it if I face slap a few that piss me off. None did of course. They were all very well behaved. In fact. I only noticed 2 wee girls that probably just hit puberty and didn’t really have a reason to be wearing a two piece in the first place, point and giggle at me. I was soo nervous at first. I mean.. The lake is one thing.. Major public water park is totally different level of playing field. However, I did awesome.. if I do say so myself. I feel like I did GRRRRRREAT! (que Tony the Tiger Voice overlay)! I worked very hard at not putting on my glare (witch trust me is Extremely hard to do) and I worked very hard ignoring the rest of the population. My original plan was to find a shady chair and read while hubby and daughter ran around like banshees. Sadly, there were so many damn people there that all the chairs/seats had been taken by bodies or lack there of.. like a pair of flip flops gaurding one chair amused me.. heh. Like this fat ass is not match for flip flops right? That annoyed the shit outta me btw. The people that thought OOOO saving seat! like were all back in fucking 4th grade where it actually MATTERED if your pencil was at that chair or not.. hmph. Most of the day the chairs were empty wearing only the occasional towel, lotion or inter-tube. In all reality I could’ve easily been a bitch and moved the flip flops.. I mean its not like there going ot hurt me .. flop flop.. But I didn’t. I in turn followed my banshees around and watched them tackle the different slides and rides. It was neat watching my 6 year old be all excited till she got half way up to the top of the rides, then get scared, then want to come down, but hubby refused then she loved every second of whatever ride she feared. In a way, her fear was not unlike mine. Cept for the stomping feet and bawling part. For a whole week I had been fearing this park.. losing interest, coming up with excuses, trying my damnedest to talk my daughter outta the water park. But once I got to the park. I had a fantastic time. Just like my daughter once I went thro the motion, it came easily. I did awesome and I wouldn’t change going for a thing. I even went on a ride! Gasp! yes the big huge slide that since I weighed as much as I did outta the three of us, rode the entire slide backwards.. But the point was.. I rode it! The slide and the park. I fucking won. That is all.
So the quitting smoking thing is still going strong, and I do not know if I mentioned before that It wasn’t just me that quit. My hubby did to. And unavoidably we…He has gained weight. Now, normally this wouldn’t phase him in the least. He is NOT one to harp on body size.. BELIEVE ME> However, this 30+ pounds hes put on due to the new metabolism has been hard on him. He is trying to make lite of it, but you know how it is, co workers tease, pants not fitting.. But hes “Big He-Man” that shit doesn’t bother him. What is bothering him is having issues tying shoes. He is getting outta breath. This upsets him. Other than that, I know he wouldn’t care if he put on 50! Its just the man he is. Its a new process for me. I don’t want to tease him, but I don’t want him to feel like I love him less because of his body change. I want him to know that its ok whatever he looks like and I’m trying to keep the topic light. But it bothers me some. Mainly because of his comments.. We went shopping the other night for some new jeans. Hes outgrown his old. And he makes a few comments about finding pants to fit his fat ass and such and so forth. Ok,so I’m the LAST person who can judge the self bashing. Ive done it since I could speak. Another product of childhood chubbiness. But I really fucking hate hearing him say that about himself. 1. That’s not who he is. He doesn’t self bash! 2. Hes not FAT in any way shape or form and if he says hes got a fat ass then where does that put my ass ? My daughter does a word of the week thing and her word is Ginormous. Is that where my ass fits now? In the Ginormous category? I don’t know how to handle this. I wish I did. I just tell him laughingly to shut up and move along and find really good comments about his ass. Witched looked fucking ha-wt in the new jeans btw.. FYI. I like the new improved bigger assed Hubby. Now there’s something to grip and pinch and sorry but it flat out does it for me. I just wish i could handle his weight gain better. Its a hard road to self acceptance and even harder looking from the outside In, witch I’ve never had to do my entire life until now. It will be a difficult road to walk. We will have to see.
Ok So, I have found a guilty pleasure and it is tweeting. Actually, I don’t tweet. I just watch my twitter. I follow my authors and magazines. And today. I ran across this article. And my mind was so boggled by it. Well, I guess boggled isn’t the right word. I had so many different ideas and thoughts ram throgh my brain while I was reading that I couldn’t even possibly make sense of most of them. I know a few Major thoughts prevailed tho. 1. Body acceptance. Ok, so I really need to work on this too, Not just my own body, but the bodies of the wee people. The ones that are size one. The ones that don’t have x in front of their size cpet for maybe the x small. I only have issues with them if they have given me something to be shitty about. However, The women in this show, if they are acting and speaking like the article says, is appalling and completely fucking up the fat stereotype that we fatties on this fat-o-sphere are trying to push and get across. SIZE ACCEPTANCE>> EVERY SIZE>> EVEN SMALL PEOPLE! Fat bitch listen. Its like our grannies always said, Treat them how you would like to be treated. Ok, so fucking what if they are tiny and have no problems finding clothes.. Good for them. Be the better fucking person and deal with the fatness you were given better than they do the thin they were.
Meanwhile, on More to Love, the contempt for small women comes fast and furious, turning what should be a show that helped smaller Americans feel compassionate toward their overweight counterparts into just another Us vs. Them reality slugfest. “I think curvy women are attractive,” says one contestant. “Who wants to look at a stick?”
WTF?! Why? why would you publicly bash the smaller size. YOU FATTIE who are on a show to promote how awesome fat people are and you fucking tools are just making us look pathetic and well Unhapply FAT!. Get a fucking life guys. I Mean srsly. Sigh, IMO it makes us look more like losers and less like ladies. I just find this terribly upsetting. I mean if you feel the need to bash someone.. make damn sure they deserve it. Don’t just bash them because they are thin. That makes it ok they bash us because we are fat. I know there are better ways to say how I feel about this topic. But right now, thats what you are getting and when I calm down, I may or may not come back and rewrite it more eloquently than I just did. Right now, Its raw and real. So there you go.
So, Around this small town is hard to find a decent job.. Yes yes I’m quite aware I can work for min wage down at the chicken shack wearing that awful fucking yellow t-shirt. BUT Ive done my time in fast food and convenience stores. Now, I just want a job that I love. The dog grooming is still awesome, just not much of an income. Ive been really really wanting to get crafty. Like, make doggie jewelry and daughter jewelery maybe even matching ! How cute! I was thinking about putting it up on ETSY!. I donno yet. Also, Id have to talk my hubby into letting me a have a bit of wee cash witch isn’t in the cards right now to get started onto something like that but I just have this freaking craft bug deep down and it MUST get released! Also, I want to write a book! Children books, young adult books, any kind of book! Sigh, I wish I was crafty.. something.. besides sitting at home with only thing to do is clean. blaerg.
Anyway, my fingers now hurt a wee bit and also I need to do some other stuffs so Ill finish up and maybe come back later. Chow.
